Learning 3-28-11

Hey family, number one- super weird that we are in a different house. Coming home to a different ward will be weird.  This week I feel as if I am learning things that I never understood my whole life. Things taught to me ever since I can remember. But now I am actually Understanding. Before my mission I understood somewhat some key principles some of which I  will never forget. I remember one was the doctrine of charity. Until you have experienced the power and the vision that comes to your eyes and heart through this love you just can't imagine it. I remember driving the Honda and I would see someone jogging, maybe he was a little overweight. But I felt obliged to pray for that young man, that he could obtain his goals. Maybe not feel bad about something but feel better. I didn't know him but I loved him. I remember walking around Blockbuster or Smiths just to observe others and trying to put myself into their lives. It was honestly the best time of my life feeling real love for people, I didn't have to know anything about them but it just came. I lost it before the mission, Talking with Cody about it and he told me to seek for it and try to receive it once more. I have strived for it for the last year and half. I have it again. I realized it was not so much the things that I did. But the more that I drew closer to Christ. I feel as if I am starting the best time of my life as of right now with this privilege that I have now to view others for who they really are. Who have just as much value in Gods eyes as he does for me. Every person has the same difficulties and loves in their lives just like I do. And Each of us have a Savior. I have thought a lot this week about the word "save" Its a very powerful word. And on top of that a powerful action. I have reflected a lot on Christ lately and Friday a song came on. "I stand all amazed" I have heard it hundreds of times. But this time it hit me. So much that I could not hold in the tears. The older I get the more I think I'm turning into dad, you know how dad always gets teary eyed. tries to hide it but we can all tell. But now I understand why. I'm working hard. Trying to give all that I can, but sometimes its tough. I realize how much I need a savior, how much he loves me. I have also learned my purpose here in this life. I never understood my patriarchal blessing but now there are parts that I do. I have learned that this experience of life can pass by us and yet we can not catch the things that are most important. I was with some Elders and we had a few minutes to observe just a group of people outside of a market. It amazes me how people just can't see the things that God has made all around us. They don't know how  to recognize it or don't want to. We are working good and might have three baptisms on Sunday. I'm so excited for conference. I love you all and you're in my prayers. 
Love Elder Matthew James Ward